Today, we close on our house! FINALLY! It is truly an answer to prayer because we are moving in over a month later than we had anticipated. Which would be totally fine if the baby weren’t due next week…
And the fact is that I could really give birth at any time. According to my most recent appointment, little one is ready and raring to go. In fact, I am convinced that if I jumped up and down a couple of times we’d be on our way to the hospital. But I will NOT be doing that, because we still have yet to sign the paperwork on the house, and I would really like to move our stuff in before we bring her home. It’s a nail biter. Literally. I have bitten my nails down to the nubs with anxiety.
See, there is this thing called “nesting.” All the mommy articles and blogs and pregnancy apps talk about it– it’s an instinct that most mamas-to-be have in which they feel the frenzied need to organize and clean and make ready their homes in order to prepare a space for their new child. I have felt this instinct welling up inside of me the past month, but unfortunately it is hard to set up a nursery when all of your things are packed up and in boxes. I just want to have her little bed ready, and make sure that both the girls’ clothes are hung up neatly in the closet, and set up the little bookshelf with their new books on it…waaaah.
Instead…we have chaos. We have a scattering of toys lying around, baby clothes everywhere, boxes clogging up the hallways, and hardly a place to stand. For a type A neat freak…this is overwhelming.
Originally, the term “nesting” comes from the animal world– birds make nests in order to create a safe place to lay eggs and raise their young. They use bits of grass, mud, saliva, and scraps of whatever they can scrounge up to make a home for their offspring. Now while I don’t think this is what “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” means when they describe “nesting,” this sounds a little closer to what my process has been…bits and pieces of whatever I can find sloppily slapped together for the purpose of baby preparation.
This morning while I was driving, my favorite psalm popped into my head. Psalm 84 isn’t the most popular of the psalms, but it has always been so beautiful to me. It starts out like this:
“How lovely is your dwelling place, O LORD of hosts!
My soul longs, yes, faints for the courts of the LORD;
my heart and flesh sing for joy to the living God.
Even the sparrow finds a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young at your altars, O LORD of hosts,
my King and my God.
Blessed are those who dwell in your house, ever singing your praise!” (v. 1-4, ESV)
Location, location, location is the mantra given as advice to first time home buyers. It’s the reminder that even if you need to sacrifice certain desires for your house, you want to ensure that you live in a nice, safe neighborhood conveniently close to where you work, worship, shop, etc.
So even though my home will probably not be the organized, clean, Pinterest-inspired baby haven I envisioned bringing my little pink bundle home to…it will be nestled near the Almighty. I can imagine no safer neighborhood, and my work for the Kingdom is made much easier when I am conveniently in His Presence. The Sons of Korah write in Psalm 84 that the sparrow finds a home in His courts, and the swallow can nest with her young there.
And Matthew 10:31 says that “you are of more value than many sparrows.” What joy!
I am thankful that my King and my God has provided a place for my nest, no matter what it’s made of. I am thankful that like the swallow, I may dwell in his house and lay my young at His altars.